Book of Life  

Posted by: Cameon

There are different parts of my life that are changing every day, whether I like it or not. Old chapters and sections of my life are closing and new ones are beginning.

Some of the characters that have been in previous chapters aren't in my current chapters. Some of the characters that have been in previous chapters, are in the ones now, and will always be in future chapters. Then there are those that will pop into my life for however long, and I won't know how they impact my life until maybe it's too late to go back.

The previous chapters in my "Book of Life" were written in permanent ink and I'm starting to realize that the ink used doesn't go away. While it might fade, it will always be there. The mistakes that were made can't be erased, because like when you make a mistake on a typewriter, you might be able to backspace and cover it with an "x", but it will always be there. That "x" will always be there to remind you that the mistake was made.

Some of the mistakes were learned from, some weren't. Some weren't mistakes after all, but things that scared me, and so I tried to mark them out…trying to hide what was going through my head from everyone else. And what better way to do that than to mark it out to where no one else knows what it is other than me?

There are characters in my previous chapters that I miss. There are characters that made a quick appearance and then left, not leaving much of anything to remember or miss. Then there are those characters that were once prominent that for some reason just disappeared. Those are probably the ones that I wonder about most.

I'm closing a lot of sections in my life this year. I closed the section of marching Friday nights with the Shades Valley Band. I had my final Homecoming where I would wear "SV" stuff to support the guys. I had my final high school Christmas Break. I'm coming up on my last high school Spring Break. I'm closing the high school part of my life.

I've closed sections in my past that have made me into the person I am today. It might have been hard to follow at times, even from my point of view, but through the fragments, run-ons, and bad verb choices, the point was still somehow made.

As I endeavor on to new things, saying I'm scared would be an understatement. While it's exciting to see that everything will be changing, it's also terrifying. I have lived in the same house, with the same parents, and mostly the same friends, for the eighteen previous chapters in my book. Now, all of a sudden, my setting and main characters are changing.

I'm excited about these new chapters I get to write, but it's in the back of my mind that the ink will always be permanent and I can't go back later and erase what happened.

I'm excited about the chapters where I meet new friends, and get to experience new things. I'm excited about the chapters where I get to learn new things, and start on my career. I'm excited about the possibility of having a significant other in a chapter…and maybe him staying there for more than a brief moment for whatever reason. I'm excited about writing about sports and all the activities that I've gotten involved in at school. Maybe I'll dive into religion and have a whole new chapter. I'm excited about, a long way down the road, writing a chapter about my husband and me taking the kids to their first Alabama game.

I've even excited about the chapters where I experience pain that makes me stronger, because like in previous chapters, those were what made me who I am today.

I'm excited about the life, passion, and love that have yet to be written about.

I've learned that no one can write anything in my book that I don't want them to. I write what I want to write. I give people the ability to influence what I write. That's my decision, and if it's someone that shouldn't have that ability, it's my place to remove the pen from their hand. People only have as much influence on my writing and my mood, as I give to them.

Something I've learned is that sometimes, the best chapters and events were things that I never meant to happen. They are the chapters that I look back on now and ask myself, "How did that even happen?" So, I'm going into these new chapters with the outlook of writing a mystery and not being scared of what might happen. I'm diving in heart first, because I've learned that if you dive into things head first all the time, you end up trying to rewrite things that were perfect the way they were before. Worse even, you could change something before you even get a chance to write it that could affect the whole book.

I want to write my chapters with the current word being my focus, and not the whole idea all of the time. I don't want what I want to happen in my future chapters, to blind me from what's going on in the current chapter. I want t enjoy every paragraph, every sentence that makes up that paragraph, every word that makes up that sentence, and every letter that makes up that word. I want to appreciate the small things, so that the big things are even better.

I don't want to rewrite anything. I want to be the person I am. I want to become who I am…I want to develop all throughout my book of life. I know I will have main characters with me that will help me through all the bad times, as I'm sure there will be more to come. These same people will be there through the good times, and probably through some of the trouble. Then there will be the new people that will have a lot of catching up to do.

What I want most though, is to impact someone in my book or with my book. Doesn't matter which chapter, I just don't want my book to end up like some of my friend's textbooks (Never opened).

So, here's to my book. Here's to your book. May you have an incredible time writing yours and impact someone with it, no matter how big or small.


This entry was posted on Sunday, February 28, 2010 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .

1 comments are already the person you are meant to be! I mean that!!! You are confident, you know the direction you want to be heading in, you put your heart, soul, & passion into all that you do....I've seen that the last year here on FB!!!
Just be "Open" to new ideas, adventures as you start on the next oh, so wonderful next chapter in your life. College at Bama is gonna' be like Heaven on Earth to you...but keep your head & your wits about you!!! :) Have fun, meet new people, experience new adventures & different people. You may have to leave your "comfort zone" at times, but ALWAYS do what your HEART tells you is the RIGHT CHOICE!!! You are on your way to such a happy, fun, & successful life....just try to stay focused (Most of the time...ha,ha) Love your writing & outlook...U R 1 smart Bama Chick that knows that hard work, creativity, & a positive outlook regarding life is sooo important. I'm gonna' Bookmark your "Book" so I can read more in the future...thx. 4 sharing it with me Cameon...I'm really proud of you & your ambition in life!! My Best, Bonnie :)

Post a Comment