Sometimes, I believe words have the power to explain how we’re feeling more than anything else. I love that they can express how mad, sad, or loving you are even by not saying anything. I used to write all the time for this very reason—just a way to vent, but then got too busy and stopped. Tonight though, I am in need of a place to vent.
As the title suggests, another one has bitten the dust. Friends seem to be dropping like fruit flies around here and I’ve realized it’s because they weren’t friends to begin with which might hurt worse than if they had been and we just grew apart.
Figuring out you’ve been used and lied to all this time might be the worst part. I haven’t really decided on that part yet. The worst part might also be the constant battle between good and bad Cameon. One side wants sweet sweet revenge while the other is telling me “You’re better than that. Karma will get her.” The instantaneous Cameon wants to spout off at the mouth right off the bat and just end it all. The thoughful Cameon has refrained…from now.
Now I’m more concerned with the fact that I seem to have all these personalities and like to talk about myself in third person (which isn’t true).
Growing up isn’t fun. You realize that people can only blame their upbringing for so long until you realize that anyone can grow beyond that and they are that way because that’s the way they want to be, and you’re getting in the way of their plan. Therefore, you must go.
You also start to see the lies pile up and realize all the times that you were probably a cover up so she could cheat on her boyfriend and didn’t even know it. It all starts to make sense, and the person you feel most sorry for isn’t yourself, but them, because you know that’s the best they’ll ever be.
I’m done believing people can change because quite honestly, I really don’t think they can. And, in a one and a million chance that they can I certainly won’t be around to see it because once people burn bridges, I’m done and it’s that simple.