Many have questioned why people can just believe that God is going to be there for us no matter what is going on. Many people question how someone could believe that someone was taken from us for a reason. There are a million questions that never seem to have an answer. Or maybe we know the answer and we just don’t want to admit it.

As I learned about someone very dear to me passing away, I quickly turned to everything that has happened in the past. I turned to the fact that he was in pain, and that he was in a better place. I turned to the fact that I thought the same thing about friends of mine that were killed in a car crash. I turned to the fact that, while I may not know what’s going on, I gain comfort in knowing that something somewhere is better.

Maybe God is just a crutch humans believe in because we know believing in anything else will tear us apart. Because not believing that there is a God and that there is a Heaven would make us into something that we can’t tolerate. Maybe we, as humans, have to have something to lean on, because we are just that weak.

We never know what’s going to happen in the future. But for the people that we love, we love to believe that the person we love most is somewhere safe and happy. We love to believe that they aren’t in pain anymore and that wherever they are, they are having a nice beer or their beverage of choice and just relaxing.

We don’t want to believe that their life is over. Especially those that were so young. We want to believe that even though they couldn’t grow up on Earth with us, they are somewhere learning everything there is to learn about life and more. We want to believe that the loved ones we knew that lived a long life are watching us now and supporting us in all that we do and helping us decide what we shouldn’t do.

Maybe because humans are weak. Maybe because humans need something to believe in. Maybe its because we aren’t good with handling the truth. Everyone shield people from things. We try and protect the ones we love in any means necessary. And the fact that there is a story book to provide us with characters that we can believe in just makes it easy. Much like the belief that we can all find love and end up like Cinderella and Snow White.

So, for those that question why people believe in God, there’s my answer. At least for me, it’s too hard to face the fact of what actually what might be real. The fact that this might be my only life and that I have one chance to do everything that I want to in this short time, is too much to bear. I’m too weak to do so, and for once, I’m not afraid to admit that. Believing that I had people that I loved taken from me for no reason, and of no use to them, is too much to bear.

So I’m human.

Is there anyone else that’s human?

"My Rock"


No one knows,
about the tears I cry.
I really can't believe,
that you're going to die.

For as long as I can remember,
you've always been there for me.
Helping me realize,
how wonderful I can be.

Always making me laugh,
when I was sad.
Always helping me see
why not to stay mad.

You've always been the strong one,
the one to show me the way.
And now you're leaving this Earth,
and sadly, I am here to stay.

Your belief is amazing.
Your faith is so strong.
Sometimes I wonder if
you've ever done anything wrong.

So imagine the pain
and having the fear
To know as I grow up,
that you won't be here.

And now seeing you like this,
so sad, lonely, helpless and in pain,
It really makes me wonder
if God is insane.

But you must know
wherever you are,
you'll always be in my heart,
no matter about the scar.

One of the things I'll always treasure most,
is that wonderful embrace.....
That awesome hug always made me feel,
like I was in the right place.

You're my paper weight,
the thing that keeps me on the ground.
So even when you're gone,
I know you'll keep me safe and sound.


Background: 


I wrote this poem after I came home from our family's annual Thanksgiving celebration. At this celebration, I saw my Uncle Dwight like I had never seen him before. He just wasn't the same. 


As anyone knows, seeing someone that you love so much go through that, is a terrible thing. So to deal with this pain I was feeling that I didn't really know how to talk about, I wrote this.


I gave it to him on rose colored paper in a wooden frame which my aunt has at her new home now. It was read at his service and has been read at several services since then. 


Shortly after I lost Uncle Dwight, I lost my Uncle Glenn from the same disease very quickly. So this is dedicated to both of them, and to all of the incredible people that I have known that left this world too soon. Because, whether it was actually too soon or not, it always seems so to the people that were left behind.