Every now and then I find myself going through old Facebook pictures. Most of the time when I do this I find myself thinking, “Why the heck did I decide to make that face in this picture?” but here recently it has been a little different.


I’m a huge believer in pictures telling a story. Smiles, laughter, tears—they all share something and tell a story about an event that was happening at the time and with that being said I share this picture:

Michael turns 3 on August 18th. That thought keeps popping into my head as I work on his party invitations, cupcake toppers, and various other party favors for his “fifford” inspired birthday party. Words can’t describe how big he’s getting, so I figure a picture will have to do…

Can you believe how big he is?! He’s talking up a storm and absolutely loves anything “boys.” Seriously…trucks of any sort (fire trucks, tractors, etc.), getting dirty, sports…all his things. Oh, and flirting with women WAY older than him. This boy…

Days like today make me think of how quickly time really does fly by and how you really do need to cherish these moments.

Sometimes, I believe words have the power to explain how we’re feeling more than anything else. I love that they can express how mad, sad, or loving you are even by not saying anything. I used to write all the time for this very reason—just a way to vent, but then got too busy and stopped. Tonight though, I am in need of a place to vent.

As the title suggests, another one has bitten the dust. Friends seem to be dropping like fruit flies around here and I’ve realized it’s because they weren’t friends to begin with which might hurt worse than if they had been and we just grew apart.

Figuring out you’ve been used and lied to all this time might be the worst part. I haven’t really decided on that part yet. The worst part might also be the constant battle between good and bad Cameon. One side wants sweet sweet revenge while the other is telling me “You’re better than that. Karma will get her.” The instantaneous Cameon wants to spout off at the mouth right off the bat and just end it all. The thoughful Cameon has refrained…from now.

Now I’m more concerned with the fact that I seem to have all these personalities and like to talk about myself in third person (which isn’t true).

Growing up isn’t fun. You realize that people can only blame their upbringing for so long until you realize that anyone can grow beyond that and they are that way because that’s the way they want to be, and you’re getting in the way of their plan. Therefore, you must go.

You also start to see the lies pile up and realize all the times that you were probably a cover up so she could cheat on her boyfriend and didn’t even know it. It all starts to make sense, and the person you feel most sorry for isn’t yourself, but them, because you know that’s the best they’ll ever be.

I’m done believing people can change because quite honestly, I really don’t think they can. And, in a one and a million chance that they can I certainly won’t be around to see it because once people burn bridges, I’m done and it’s that simple.

I think I have started and backspaced this post about 15 times now. I also just realized that I used “backspaced” as a verb and am wondering if it actually could be? Technically I guess.

I keep writing things so that they seem politically and morally correct which is a pain because I normally don’t care about those things. People are too sensitive. I care though, because I don’t want this to hurt you which in itself makes no sense.

I want so badly to be stay mad at you. It would be wonderful. I feel like I should be entitled to the feelings of anger. I feel like I have every right to want you to hurt as much as you hurt me.

But I can’t. I can’t stay mad at you. I’ve tried. Over and over again. I get to the same place every time…wishing that it was someone else that knew me so well and that had the ability to change my day as much as you do but secretly being glad that it’s you.

I did the whole “cleaning of Facebook friends” and you were still in the blocked list. I thought about taking you off of it but a part of me couldn’t do it because I don’t know that I’d ever be able to put you back on it if you did something like that again. I cleaned my messages, and couldn’t erase the ones from you.

I kept asking myself (and you too eventually) if we would ever be the same, and I’ve answered myself. Nope, we won’t be the same. I think somehow we’ve grown stronger from everything. I can’t explain why, but I always wondered what it would feel like to be told the things you admitted to me and still care enough about someone to see what happens and at least want them as a friend just so I could have them in my life.

I hate that you know me so well. I hate that you knew this was exactly what I was needing…to get all this off my chest and just type until I said what I needed to say. I hate that you can tell my day’s been bad just by me sending a one word text message that carried on conversation like normal. I hate all of those things, because I love them at the same time.

I had been talking about getting in shape, changing the way I eat, etc. for quite some time as I’m sure everyone does. I was going to eat less junk food, drink less caffeine, and workout more….”starting Monday.” Monday came and went several times, and I always seemed to find some excuse to not start. I’d rationalize with myself about the fact that I’m really not fat, just needed to tone up, this that and the other excuse to not make me feel bad about failing at a goal I had set for myself.

That’s changed.

I joined a group on Facebook that has some of the most motivating ladies in it. I am clocking in right now at 5’9” and weighing around 150 lbs. I’ll get an exact weight when we get back from vacation along with pictures.

WebMD says I’m healthy and so does my doctor, but if I really want to lose a few pounds I can, but considering that I am tall anything less than 135 lbs. would look sickly. To be honest, I’m not really worried about how much I weight but more about how I feel.

I’m not going on a diet because that’s a temporary thing. I’m making a lifestyle change. Eating healthier, drinking less caffeine, and working out. Doing this, I know I’ll feel better and my wallet will be a little fatter from not drinking Starbucks at least once a day, if not more.

Here’s a picture from two years ago at the beach (I’m the one on the left). Most would throw something at me for even thinking I have anything to lose but there are things about my body that I want to change and make even better so that I look and feel my best…to me. I’m not basing it off of magazine articles or anything of the sort or plastic people, but how I feel.

In the process of me eating healthier, I’m hoping that my mom sees me eating healthier and will start doing something and I can in turn change how my little brother eats before it gets to be a huge issue.

I will do this, and I look forward to taking everyone along for the ride with me.

As an English teacher once told me, a title should summarize the general idea of what you are writing about while capturing your audience. I thought the craziness that is the above title seemed appropriate. There was a point to that, and it wasn’t just that Bailey wanted to try her hand paw at the typing world.

Life has been a little hectic the last few months. Actually the last few years, but there’s a button for previous posts if you’d like to read about all that.

In the last few months, I decided that the University Of Alabama wasn’t really the place for me, which came as a shock to a lot of friends and family because it always had been. Honestly, I can’t explain it other than it just changed. Even more honesty, it might not be that it changed, but rather I changed.

I see things completely differently now. The people, the town, the fans…all of it. I still love the campus. I still love the people. Well, some of them. I guess what changed is that I stopped caring as much about sports as I used to and realized at the end of the day, it wouldn’t matter if I knew all the stats or who committed to Alabama or decommitted. I didn’t play. I didn’t practice. There were more important things in life.

As a Freshman, I really didn’t give other universities the time of day because I was an Alabama fan and couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. I thought because I was an Alabama fan, I had to go there. There are things I would do differently, but at the end of the day I have no regrets because I’m still a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason.

So, all that being said…I am moving back home over the next few days which is going to take some getting used to. I took on two part time Nanny jobs that will basically make a little more than a 9-5 week. I’ve still got basic classes to finish up which I plan on doing at Jeff State while I figure out where I want to, or if I even want to, go back to college full-time. At some point I’m going to have to, but I’m not sure if it’ll ever be at UA again.

Other than that, here’s what’s been going on the last few months:

One of the besties gets married…and I’m the “Photographer.”

I took over 2,000 pictures at their wedding so I can’t possibly post them all, but it was amazing to be honored with being asked, especially since I just do the picture taking as a hobby. Little tough to take pictures through the happy tears at times though.

Pumpkin Patch

First Trip Ever To Auburn

Yeah, that was a little different. Wasn’t sure how it would go over, but overall I loved the people and the campus. Totally different atmosphere than Alabama and ironically, the guy in the picture is now the boyfriend.

Michael’s Growing…Fast

Yeah, and getting into everything.

It has been quite a while since these fingers have started typing ready to post something to this little space of the world wide web I call mine (although it's actually Bloggers). I wish I could say I had to dust the keyboard before typing this, but for anyone that knows me they know this is certainly not the case. In fact, over the last few months I feel like I've spent my life with my seemingly new boyfriend Mr. Acer and his children Facebook, Twitter, and Gmail. 


A year ago I started a business called Getting Social in which I designed and helped businesses run their Facebook pages to better meet the needs of their fans since Facebook is/was taking over the world. I did it for a family "friend" and she suggested I start my own page and get to work because she knew so many that could use the services I was offering. It started out great; I had a full client list and clients on a waiting list waiting for me to make their pages...and that's when it went downhill. 


Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity I had to create for some amazing women and businesses. What some of these businesses owners went through on a daily business I would cringe at and simply couldn't imagine. I thought I just had the best clients in the world (this was the blissfully ignorant stage). I had never dealt with a customer that wasn't completely satisfied by the job I had done or the communication, etc. Naturally, I thought I had a pretty good system. 


I was wrong.


During this process I was also taking a full load of classes during my Freshman year at the University that I dreamed of going to since I was little. UA doesn't seem like a dream school but once if you visited, you'd understand...or most people do anyway. Bottom line: I took on more than I could handle and wasn't giving 100% to anything I was doing. I started getting unsatisfied customers, bad grades, and just overall incredibly stressed which wasn't pleasant for anyone.


Since then, I've closed down that "little business" because it was too much for one person that was taking classes and also working another part time job. People think I'm crazy for shutting down a business that was thriving but it was what was best for me and the point I am at in my life. 


I said all that to say, here recently I've realized how much time I have spent with Mr. Acer over the last year. It took away from schoolwork, family time, and from time I could have been spending possibly getting into a relationship that didn't involve a hard drive to work. This past week I deactivated my Facebook and I can not tell you how liberating it has been! I've found the joys in things I didn't even know I was missing. I've found I have much more time to focus on things I need to focus on like schoolwork and many of the other organizations I am involved in on campus. Not to mention, I have more time to write about the things I enjoy, learn new things like how to cook all these delicious looking recipes (thank you Pinterest), and enjoy the time with family and friends that God has blessed me with. 


A co-worker and one of my best friends asked me how I stay connected with everyone and I told her it was simple, because everyone that I talk to on a normal basis calls me on the phone, texts me, or will tweet me if they really need me. I just had no need for the crazy stalker page anymore that gave people information on me I would rather them just assume ask me personally anyway. 


So here's my challenge...deactivate your Facebook. Take it off your phone. Log out. See how many times in a week you think about wanting to log on and tally those up. At the end of the week look at how many times you resisted and think about how much time that could have been put towards something else that might have a little more meaning. 


I look forward to getting back into the swing of things. 


Roll Tide and God Bless,
The Bama Chick